Once upon a time, Sleeping Beauty was a beautiful princess who had the misfortune of being parented by a couple who could rule a kingdom but couldnâ€™t count beyond like 12 or something. A botched invite situation led, therefore, to the unintentional dissing of a fairy who knew how to hold a grudge like nobodyâ€™s business. On her sixteenth birthday, then, despite her parentsâ€™ best preventive measures, Sleeping Beauty pricked her finger and settled into a 100-year-long nap.
At the time, this seemed tragic, so when the prince appeared and kissed her chapped lips (no long-lasting lip products available at the time) to wake her, initially she was thrilled.
But then, she started thinking about how much work planning a wedding would be, and how it would probably rain on the honeymoon anyway, and how before she knew it sheâ€™d be called upon to pop out little future monarchs (an endeavor called â€œlaborâ€ for a very good reason, she suspected) and pursue a career that would make enough money to pay for Disney Princess diapers and the mortgage on the castle, and about how many social gatherings sheâ€™d be called upon to host as princess and someday queen when sheâ€™d really rather be sitting in her pajamas reading tales about other princesses anyway.
She sat up, grabbed her pillow, and pushed aside the prince, who was cute enough as princes go but not cute enough for all of that. Leaving her bedroom, she ran through the rooms of the castle until she found the one other spinning wheel that someone forgot to get rid of, the one never mentioned in most of the versions of this tale. Immediately, she pricked her finger again and with her pillow in hand, sank to the floor, a smile on her face.
Her last thought before sleep overtook her was, â€œSleep is underrated.â€
Lest you try to interpret this incorrectly, this tale is about one thing, and one thing only: the stunning lack of sleep in my life right now.
Iâ€™m guessing many of you can relate.
If you can relate to this one, you might also appreciate To the Salt Marsh (And Back Again).