- pedometer (n) (meter = measure): measurer of footsteps
One year for my birthday, LCB bought me a pedometer, which was supposed to inspire me to greater cardiovascular efforts. It did initially, but its lack of accuracy proved to be more frustrating than inspiring. And soon, even LCB was asking me to ditch the thing because I was constantly misplacing it and the family would sit outside for minutes on end waiting to start our walk while I ran around the house trying to find it. Then, I’d get more frustrated because there I’d be, running around the house trying to find the pedometer and thus not measuring or getting “credit” for the steps I was taking trying to find the stupid thing. Enough already. I went back to estimating, generously in my favor, of course.
- expedite (v) (ex- = from, out of): literally, get the foot out of, or to speed up the process
I’m shopping for school supplies right now, and I can’t tell you how much I wish there was a way to expedite this process. Well, there actually was a way, back in June when, had I been more sagacious, I would have ordered the pre-compiled school supply kit along with all the sane mothers. But no, I decided it would be a fun small people activity to shop for the items together. I am so paying for that poor decision right now.
- multiped (n) (multi- = many): many-footed (usually an animal)
Someday, if you are hiking deep in the backwoods somewhere with companions you would like to impress and you encounter a strange-looking insect, you could always throw out a statement like, “Look, it’s a multiped!” While technically, you are merely stating the obvious, many people won’t know the meaning of multiped or won’t think that statement through enough to realize it, so you might manage to pull off sounding like a self-taught entomologist. Note: This works best with people who are afraid to admit they don’t know something. So, worst case scenario, even if they are wondering, “Isn’t a multiped just something with many feet?” they are afraid to actually say it and possibly confess to their own ignorance. Thus, they say nothing, and at least wonder if maybe they were, in fact, in the presence of great knowledge.
Don’t roll your eyes at me. I worked hard on this one. Convoluted nonsense takes time.