That Would Be Too Much Math (and Other Sayings)

Last summer, I shared some of the funny things Baby-Girl has said in the post “In Case I Step in Poop with One Foot (and Other Sayings).” Since then, I’ve still been mostly negligent when it comes to writing down the things she says, but over the last year I have managed to record a few more.

    • In the middle of a lively discussion on the way to school, Baby-Girl, known for being quiet in public and loud at home, announced, “I’m 90% of the sound in this family.” I asked her to repeat what she’d said just to clarify, and we all sat quietly, waiting for her to speak. After a pause and a sigh, she mumbled, “Never mind.” Then, as we all pondered this, I heard her whispering to herself, “It’s more like 40%­—no—50%. No, 30% maybe, or maybe 55%.”
    • One afternoon, after I reprimanded her for something minor, she started packing her lunch. While she worked, she turned to me and asked, “Have you ever noticed that when you call me out on something, you get away with it, but if I call you out on something, I lose dessert that night?”
    • This one comes in all shapes and sizes and goes something like this: “It’s not fair that I don’t have a sister.” Sometimes, her approach is tacit and she’ll give me a significant look when we witness an exchange between two sisters. Last summer, on the other hand, when her friend’s mother had a baby girl and I showed her some pictures on Facebook, Baby-Girl folded her arms and said, “She’s so lucky! I have two brothers and NO sisters. What’s up with that?” as if I should sit and philosophize with her on the matter. But the best is when she says this: “It’s so unfair. So-and-so has a sister and I’m not even allowed to get a hamster.”
    • After spending the day cleaning her room and throwing away several bags of garbage, Baby-Girl sat down next to me and handed me a card. I opened it, and on the inside she had scribbled a note that said, “Thank you for being my mom.” Then she explained. “It was a blank card that came inside a present you bought me last year, and I didn’t want to throw it away without using it first.”
    • The other day, she told me she wants to be either a math teacher or an engineer when she grows up, and then she asked about what degrees she’d need for those professions. We began talking about her options, and I threw out a few possibilities of schools for her to consider. When I mentioned that she could also consider MIT, her brothers’ dream school, she shook her head. “Oh, no,” she said. “That would involve too much math if I went there.”

     I looked at her. “But you want to be a math teacher or an engineer.”

     “I know. But that would be too much math.”


By the way, I forgot to follow up on last year’s sleepover. Reportedly, she was successful in making it through the night without stepping in poop with one foot. Thought y’all would want to know.


Leave a Reply