Well, we made it!
Believe me, I have plenty more to follow, but I’ll just touch on a few of the highlights from our drive down here after our stay in the Midwest.
- My daughter conveniently decided, on the first pit stop, that she will no longer be using any toilets that flush automatically. Given that about 80% of the toilets we encountered were auto-flushers, you can imagine the drama that this created.
- Midway through our trip, we stopped at what has to be the smelliest place on earth. Seriously. I now know where the smelliest place on earth is. Email me if you want directions so you can add it to the itinerary of your trip to see the world’s biggest ball of yarn, the two-story outhouse, etc.
- For dinner the first night, we found ourselves eating chicken, biscuits, and blueberries in a grocery store parking lot out of the back of the minivan. We become highly civilized during a move, apparently. We didn’t really plan to eat in this manner. It just sort of “evolved” after a quick perusal at the exit we were at revealed few decent options. I’m not really sure how we went from trying to find a restaurant to tailgating and eating without utensils, all in the space of about five minutes, but we did. Hey, at least we were efficient.
- Just when I was starting to feel like this was the moving version of a Griswold Family movie, the meat man tried to pick me up on the highway. You heard me. Some guy with a truck that had useful information about the meat he was selling written all over it pulled up on my right and followed right beside me (LCB was in another vehicle) for quite a while, trying to get my attention. He was totally my type, what with the girlie stickers on the back window of his truck and all. Who knew people attempt to find love on the freeway like that? I’ve been out of the dating scene for a long time now, but I was under the impression that a reputable dating service was the way to go nowadays.
- I ate cheap chain store pizza for the first time in years. I’m from Chicago, so I’m rather particular about my pizza. Pizza shouldn’t be cheap fast food, in my opinion. It should be a gourmet experience. But, by the time we got to our new house, after the whole moving experience and unloading a large truck in all this Carolina August heat, I so did not care about having a gourmet pizza experience. I just wanted a food-like experience, like right now already.
- Since I don’t have much going on at the moment, my daughter decided to pitch in and help me find things to do with my time by breaking her glasses right after we arrived. It was really my fault, since I was busy feeding my face with pizza-like food late that night and didn’t remind her to remove her glasses before she fell asleep in a pile of blankets. Therefore, I will likely be spending a better part of the rest of today trying to find a place to get new glasses while battling the deluge of tourists that I’m sure will be on the roads and in the stores this fine Saturday afternoon in August on my new island. Maybe I should just tape together the old pair and forget about it. It would certainly fit in with The Griswold Family Is Moving theme of the week.
Next week, I hope to be back in the saddle again, or at least moving in the general direction of the saddle. I can’t wait to tell you about the house, because I’ve got plenty of business to attend to where that’s concerned. In fact, I’m even going to solicit some advice, if I may.