{"id":960,"date":"2012-01-16T14:56:09","date_gmt":"2012-01-16T18:56:09","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.anislandmom.com\/?p=960"},"modified":"2012-01-16T14:56:11","modified_gmt":"2012-01-16T18:56:11","slug":"day-health-regime","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.anislandmom.com\/?p=960","title":{"rendered":"Day One Of The New Health Regime"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m really, really hungry right now.<\/p>\n

The New Health Regime<\/a> officially took over my life this morning.<\/p>\n

So here I am, trying not to think about good<\/del> unhealthy foods and trying to stay mildly active so my metabolism doesn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t plummet.<\/p>\n

Thus far, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve:<\/p>\n

* Exercised by literally running around the house while doing laundry, housework and dishes, and tried to erase my mental picture of how ridiculous I must have looked while doing said activities<\/p>\n

* Measured my waist and don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t want to talk about it<\/p>\n

* Grabbed a Hershey Kiss out of the candy bowl accidentally and caught myself too soon<\/del> just in time (Yes, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m owning the fact that this incident took place at 9:20 in the a.m.)<\/p>\n

* Replaced candy bowl with bowl of apples. It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s not at all the same. And bigger is so not better.<\/p>\n

* Stocked the fridge with excessive amounts of diet pop<\/p>\n

* Convinced my son to try to eat all the leftover pizza in the fridge that keeps talking to me in my language<\/em>. He didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t eat it all, so now he\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s grounded.<\/p>\n

* Drank so much water this morning that I gained a pound<\/p>\n

* Noticed an immediate increase in my frequency of talking to myself<\/a>, so I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m contemplating erasing my next month\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s worth of social events and doing all errands at 3 a.m. when stores are virtually empty<\/p>\n

On the marital front, LCB emerged from his office at 10:27 a.m. genuinely lamenting the fact that he had not lost any weight yet.<\/p>\n

That man loses weight just talking about losing weight. He knows this too, so he talks about it incessantly. And I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t mean incessantly by normal person standards. I mean incessantly even by Loquacious Cabana Boy<\/a> (LCB) standards.<\/p>\n

This is why he stops being my friend when we do this.<\/p>\n

I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m trying to ignore him, but it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s rather difficult to ignore someone significantly larger and more animated than I am who continues to speak, mostly right in my face.<\/p>\n

There he just went again, as I write. There\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s no need to ever make this stuff up, because it just keeps happening. And happening. And happening.<\/p>\n

Guess I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll go off in a corner somewhere and just talk to myself.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m really, really hungry right now. The New Health Regime officially took over my life this morning. So here I am, trying not to think about good unhealthy foods and trying to stay mildly active so my metabolism doesn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t plummet. Thus far, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve: * Exercised by literally running around the house while doing laundry, housework […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[837,841,80,838,831,839,840,105,100,465],"class_list":["post-960","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-islandlife","tag-a-new-health-regime","tag-bad-diet-examples","tag-beach-life","tag-beginning-a-diet","tag-coastal-life","tag-dieting-sucks","tag-i-just-want-chocolate","tag-island-life","tag-island-living","tag-island-mom"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.anislandmom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/960","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.anislandmom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.anislandmom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.anislandmom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.anislandmom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=960"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.anislandmom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/960\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.anislandmom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=960"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.anislandmom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=960"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.anislandmom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=960"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}