{"id":53,"date":"2011-04-06T10:41:56","date_gmt":"2011-04-06T14:41:56","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.anislandmom.com\/?p=53"},"modified":"2014-01-28T18:04:57","modified_gmt":"2014-01-28T22:04:57","slug":"were-having-weather-today","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.anislandmom.com\/?p=53","title":{"rendered":"We’re Having “Weather” Today"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"100_0599\"<\/a>Due to the obnoxiously early start time of my children\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s school previously mentioned<\/a>, I woke up at 5:40 a.m. yesterday morning and turned on the local news. I have no idea what news stories were covered during the first few minutes or so, likely due to my lack of functioning brain cells before 6:00 a.m., but the first story that registered in my mind was the station meteorologist discussing the thunderstorms and possible tornadoes approaching our area.<\/p>\n

The station flashes to \u00e2\u20ac\u0153live on location\u00e2\u20ac\u009d where their crew is set up in the \u00e2\u20ac\u0153weather\u00e2\u20ac\u009d and some poor hard-working young newscaster is trying to drum up a story before the story has actually occurred. She starts talking about how she\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s been out in the \u00e2\u20ac\u0153weather\u00e2\u20ac\u009d since 4:30 a.m., and how clearly people are bracing for the storm because there are hardly any people out and about right now. Hmm. Perchance could it be not because of the \u00e2\u20ac\u0153weather\u00e2\u20ac\u009d but because of the TIME??? Seriously, how many people normally are out on a stroll at 4:30 a.m.? The Olympic trainees, maybe, and confused retirees who worked the night shift for 40 years. In our small area, that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s probably all of about 3 people.<\/p>\n

Next, in a cleverly disguised effort to build drama, she finds the one guy who is out in the \u00e2\u20ac\u0153weather,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d which is apparently quickly deteriorating because she says it is, and interviews him. This affable young gentleman confesses to heading to the beach whenever there is a hurricane or a tornado so he can see the \u00e2\u20ac\u0153weather\u00e2\u20ac\u009d up close. Here I was under the impression that one is advised to move away from the coast in a hurricane situation. Evidently our family needs to reevaluate our safety plan. Then he says, with excitement in his voice (and I am very slightly paraphrasing but totally not lying), that well, this is no hurricane, but, this time of year, that is, pre-hurricane season, you can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t be too picky and you have to take what you can get<\/strong>. Again, I guess I need to reevaluate, because I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve been trying to avoid the hurricanes all these years and often pray for their non-existence. I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m clearly confused. And he\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s clearly not a homeowner.<\/p>\n

Thankfully, we all survived the \u00e2\u20ac\u0153weather\u00e2\u20ac\u009d with no scratches. My children were predictably disappointed, not getting the 20 minute reprieve from lessons that a tornado siren would have provided, nor the entertainment value of hearing someone scream \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Funnel!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d and causing instant chaos in the elementary halls. Oh, well. Maybe hurricane season will come through for them. Then, since they\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll be homeless, they can hang out on the beach with Mr. You-Have-To-Take-What-You-Can-Get.<\/p>\n

At any rate, the newscast wound down but not before legal counsel presumably put an alert in the newscaster\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s ear, and she made the token cautionary statements about staying in a safe place and keeping an ear out for alerts, which Mr. You-Have-To-Take-What-You-Can-Get quickly agreed with, despite the unmistakable contradiction, because let\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s face it, he wants to be asked to be on the news again, next time there\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s \u00e2\u20ac\u0153weather.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Obviously, he has a bright future ahead of him in politics.<\/p>\n

Or \u00e2\u20ac\u0153weather.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Due to the obnoxiously early start time of my children\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s school previously mentioned, I woke up at 5:40 a.m. yesterday morning and turned on the local news. I have no idea what news stories were covered during the first few minutes or so, likely due to my lack of functioning brain cells before 6:00 a.m., […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[37,1661,36,38,1660],"class_list":["post-53","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-islandlife","tag-hurricanes","tag-island-rainbows","tag-tornado","tag-weather-report","tag-weird-island-weather"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.anislandmom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/53","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.anislandmom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.anislandmom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.anislandmom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.anislandmom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=53"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.anislandmom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/53\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.anislandmom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=53"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.anislandmom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=53"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.anislandmom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=53"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}