On a whim, really, I decided I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d like to share my spur-of-the-moment list of ten of the things that are just wrong with the world. They just started coming to me randomly after I got a whiff of some potatoes yesterday (see below for elaboration). So, I thought I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d share them because I figured some of you might want to add your own \u00e2\u20ac\u0153See, that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s just wrong!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d items to the list.<\/p>\n
10. Funky-smelling potatoes<\/p>\n
There\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a bag of potatoes in the pantry where we are staying that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s been there for less than 10 days, and the funk that the last two potatoes are currently emitting (now in the garbage) smells like what I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d imagine mothballs that were once alive would smell like.<\/p>\n
9. Shorts that don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t cover the derri\u00c3\u00a8re<\/p>\n
This applies to women and<\/strong> men.<\/p>\n 8. A specific goulash dish from my past<\/p>\n On time, in the mid-80s, this family I babysat for had me serve some leftovers to their children for dinner. They called it goulash, but to me it looked and smelled like stuff the disposal burped back up. Wrong, wrong, wrong.<\/p>\n 7. \u00c2\u00a0White t-shirts that only look respectable hanging on the rack<\/p>\n A couple months ago, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153some lady I know\u00e2\u20ac\u009d a bought a white t-shirt that looked highly respectable in the store. She bought it because she\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s an idiot who tried to go shopping with three small people. When she got home and tried it on, it was so see-through it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d be the same as not wearing a shirt at all. As if.<\/p>\n 6. \u00c2\u00a0Someone over age 10 who says to you, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153When I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m as old as you are\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n A young man came to the door recently and said to me, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Ma\u00e2\u20ac\u2122am, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m 24 and have made some big mistakes in life, and someday, when I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m<\/em> as old as you are<\/em>, I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t still want to be making those mistakes.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Well, son, let me start you on the right track by explaining to you why you need to rephrase that last sentence.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n 5. A husband who has no concept of time<\/p>\n 4. Great books and not-so-great books<\/p>\n Well, let me be a little more specific. A not-so-great book is a huge irritant when you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve been craving a really good book to read for quite some time, and you pick up the not-so-great book, thinking you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve finally found a really good book to lose yourself in, only to find that this one, like all the rest of late, is not-so-great. Conversely, you find that really great book, the one you may have to gouge your eyes out in order to stop reading, but you find it at a point in your life where you really, truly have no time to read, like during a cross-country move, or on the week of your wedding, or the week of your neighborhood block party that you got sucked into running due to nefarious subdivision politics that you have to pretend don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t exist. See what I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m saying?<\/p>\n 3. Laughing at the plight of goldfish<\/p>\n When I was in high school, my little sister, in elementary school at this point, had a gumball-shaped fish tank with two goldfish in it. One day, she accidentally knocked it over and freaked out, screaming for my mom to save the fish. Mom came running in her room and quickly scooped up one fish but couldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t find the other. My sister was in a panic in a teary sort of way, jumping around, and my mom scrambled all over the floor trying to find the missing fish. And what did I do? I rolled on the floor and laughed so hard at their hysterics, that not only could I not help, I couldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t breathe. I kept trying to reach in their direction, to say something helpful, but I seriously couldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t breath and the tears of laughter just streamed down my face while I convulsed on the floor.<\/p>\n Now, that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s just wrong. Seriously, it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s just awful, but as I write this, I swear, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m convulsing with laughter all over again just thinking about it, to the point where LCB just called to me from the other room and asked if I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m okay. I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m so not kidding, he really just did.<\/p>\n 2. Caloric chocolate<\/p>\n I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m speaking in general here about the caloric part of the chocolate.<\/p>\n 1. The steak my husband ordered last night<\/p>\n Granted, his expectations weren\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t high given he ordered the \u00e2\u20ac\u01536.99 steak special,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d which he contended should have read the \u00e2\u20ac\u01536.99 mystery meat<\/span> food-product special,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d but afterward he told me it was the worst steak he has ever had in his entire life. He requested rare, and it came out medium-well if you generously interpret the meaning of medium-well. It also had an uncanny resemblance to a plastic cow pie I once saw in a mail order catalogue of various eccentric novelty items. But, what was most wrong was the look on his face when he took his first bite. I knew he wasn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t going to wait for them to cook another one at least to the correct temperature when the service was already very slow, and he doesn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t like to throw away food, so I knew, and he knew, that he would be suffering though the entirety of that miserable-looking steak-like thing on his plate, with a smile, no less, since we were also dining with company. See, that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s just wrong.<\/p>\n So, what\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s \u00e2\u20ac\u0153See, that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s just wrong!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d in your world? Do tell.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" On a whim, really, I decided I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d like to share my spur-of-the-moment list of ten of the things that are just wrong with the world. They just started coming to me randomly after I got a whiff of some potatoes yesterday (see below for elaboration). So, I thought I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d share them because I figured some […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[365],"tags":[410,409,105,100,408,406,407],"class_list":["post-391","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-off-island-stories","tag-bad-steak-stories","tag-funny-goldfish-stories","tag-island-life","tag-island-living","tag-random-funny-stuff","tag-see-thats-just-wrong","tag-whats-wrong-with-the-world"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.anislandmom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/391","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.anislandmom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.anislandmom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.anislandmom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.anislandmom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=391"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.anislandmom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/391\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.anislandmom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=391"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.anislandmom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=391"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.anislandmom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=391"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}This would be LCB<\/del>. I have a friend who\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s married to a man with this problem. She\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s the one with the aforementioned white t-shirt.<\/p>\n