{"id":3088,"date":"2015-06-04T16:16:05","date_gmt":"2015-06-04T20:16:05","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.anislandmom.com\/?p=3088"},"modified":"2015-06-04T16:16:05","modified_gmt":"2015-06-04T20:16:05","slug":"hope-tomorrow-heard-school","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.anislandmom.com\/?p=3088","title":{"rendered":"Our Hope for Tomorrow: Things Heard or Said in School"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a rare school day where I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t hear or even find myself saying something that makes me laugh. Usually, I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t write the words down and I quickly forget them, but I have accumulated a list from the few I have recorded.<\/p>\n<p>It probably won\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t bring you any hope for tomorrow, but hopefully it will make you laugh.<\/p>\n<p><em><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Things students have said to me (with a straight face<\/span>):<\/em><\/p>\n<p>\u00e2\u20ac\u0153I mean, you couldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t <em>love<\/em> Cheetos, but you could be <em>in love<\/em> with them.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n<p>\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Now, are we going to have to do any writing in your class?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d (I teach English.)<\/p>\n<p>(Smack dab in the middle of a lesson) \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Hey, do you mind if I call my mom a minute to give her my lunch order? She said she\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d pick something up for me.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d (I give the student a look.)\u00c2\u00a0 \u00e2\u20ac\u0153What? How\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s she going to know what to bring?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n<p>(Said with genuine pride in the middle of an \u00e2\u20ac\u0153interesting\u00e2\u20ac\u009d class period) \u00e2\u20ac\u0153You have to admit that we\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re <em>really<\/em> funny.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d (Trust me, trust me, trust me: they were not.)<\/p>\n<p><em><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Things I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve heard students say to each other (when they didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t realize I could hear them)<\/span><\/em>:<\/p>\n<p>\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Dude, do you <em>ever<\/em> wash your socks?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n<p>\u00e2\u20ac\u0153I totally need to start wearing deodorant. Here, smell.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n<p>(Said calmly by a student to a friend who wasn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t responding to polite requests to cease and desist) \u00e2\u20ac\u0153If you do that again, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m going to drop-kick you in the face.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d (It worked; the unresponsive kid suddenly became responsive.)<\/p>\n<p><em><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Things I never thought I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d say to students (but have)<\/span>:<\/em><\/p>\n<p>\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Get your phone out of my ceiling.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n<p>\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t make me take your chicken.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n<p>(One of the more mind-numbing moments of my career) \u00e2\u20ac\u0153No, <a title=\"Things High Schoolers Never Say\" href=\"http:\/\/www.anislandmom.com\/?p=2519\" target=\"_blank\">you can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t just go to the bathroom on the floor<\/a>. There\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d be consequences.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a rare school day where I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t hear or even find myself saying something that makes me laugh. Usually, I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t write the words down and I quickly forget them, but I have accumulated a list from the few I have recorded. It probably won\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t bring you any hope for tomorrow, but hopefully it [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1023,1],"tags":[105,100,1941,1939,1940,1909,1578],"class_list":["post-3088","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-education","category-islandlife","tag-island-life","tag-island-living","tag-kids-say-weird-stuff","tag-things-high-schoolers-day","tag-things-i-never-thought-id-say","tag-things-kids-say","tag-things-middle-schoolers-say"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.anislandmom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3088","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.anislandmom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.anislandmom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.anislandmom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.anislandmom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3088"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.anislandmom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3088\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.anislandmom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3088"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.anislandmom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3088"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.anislandmom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3088"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}