{"id":2410,"date":"2013-06-06T20:02:06","date_gmt":"2013-06-07T00:02:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.anislandmom.com\/?p=2410"},"modified":"2013-06-06T20:02:06","modified_gmt":"2013-06-07T00:02:06","slug":"mouths-kindergartners","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.anislandmom.com\/?p=2410","title":{"rendered":"Out of the Mouths of Kindergartners"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.anislandmom.com\/?attachment_id=2411\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-2411\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-large wp-image-2411\" alt=\"IMG_5116\" src=\"http:\/\/www.anislandmom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/06\/IMG_5116-1024x682.jpg\" width=\"633\" height=\"427\" \/><\/a>Among the graduating kindergarten clan at the small people\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s school, there\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a fierce rumor going around about first grade and how the first grade teachers up the discipline game a little. One day after school, my daughter came home brimming with information meticulously gleaned during recess that day.<\/p>\n<p>\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Mommy, if you are naughty and get a card flip in first grade, you have to sit in a timeout chair like this.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n<p>She demonstrated, sitting upright with her arms and legs ramrod straight, eyes wide and face motionless.\u00c2\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>She continued, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153They make you sit in a chair for a long time and you can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t chalax.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n<p>Now there was a head-scratcher. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153You can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t what?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d I asked.<\/p>\n<p>\u00e2\u20ac\u0153You can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t <i>chalax<\/i>,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d she repeated, drawing out the last word.<\/p>\n<p>I had a guess as to what she was really trying to say, but I wanted to hear her explain it, so I requested further clarification. She elaborated with, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153You know, you have to sit really straight, and you can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t move or lean back or bend your legs or anything, even if you get really tired.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n<p>\u00e2\u20ac\u0153I think you might mean relax, not chalax,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d I offered.<\/p>\n<p>She regarded me skeptically, and then conceded, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Well, maybe.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n<p>I returned to her concerns about the upgraded discipline policy that awaits her in first grade. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Well, honey, have you ever even gotten a card flip before?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n<p>\u00e2\u20ac\u0153No!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d She looked offended.<\/p>\n<p>\u00e2\u20ac\u0153So why are you even worried about it?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n<p>\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Well,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d she paused and assumed the voice of an adult imparting wisdom to a child, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153No one can be good forever.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n<p>You know what they say about the mouths of babes.<\/p>\n<p>Therefore, knowing she was right, I did the thing begging to be done. I gave her a hug and told her to chalax.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Among the graduating kindergarten clan at the small people\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s school, there\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a fierce rumor going around about first grade and how the first grade teachers up the discipline game a little. One day after school, my daughter came home brimming with information meticulously gleaned during recess that day. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Mommy, if you are naughty and get [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1,4],"tags":[1485,1086,1484,105,554],"class_list":["post-2410","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-islandlife","category-island-parenting","tag-funny-kid-stories","tag-funny-things-kids-say","tag-funny-things-kindergarteners-say","tag-island-life","tag-living-on-the-beach"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.anislandmom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2410","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.anislandmom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.anislandmom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.anislandmom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.anislandmom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2410"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.anislandmom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2410\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.anislandmom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2410"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.anislandmom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2410"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.anislandmom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2410"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}