I hope everyone has a wonderful Valentine\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s Day tomorrow, whether you have plans to spend your time with someone special or with something special (i.e., chocolate).<\/p>\n
In a stunningly altruistic move, I told LCB not to bother with gifts for Valentine\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s Day this year. After deep reflection, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve decided the only thing I really need or want in life, at the moment anyway, is a manservant to chip away at all of the remaining projects to be completed in our new house<\/a>. However, since there doesn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t appear to be a manservant store on our small island, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m not holding out much hope. And since LCB is buried deep in work right now, the romantic dinner we had previous planned will likely be replaced by Hamburger Helper with the small people, with LCB gagging down his portion at his desk in his office.<\/p>\n Interestingly, while catching some of the Valentine\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s Day commercials over the weekend, I was struck by how out of touch I am with the rest of America. I can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t imagine, for instance, how many times I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d have to be dropped on my head before I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d start wanting some of the things being advertised as ideal Valentine\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s Day gifts. I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m sure many people must love these ideas, as I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve seen them advertised in years past, and even have friends who enjoy these sorts of gifts, but I am just not feeling it.<\/p>\n At all.<\/p>\n So, I made a point to share my feelings with LCB, lest he get distracted by all the clever marketing being thrown in his general direction and buy me a gift anyway. I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll briefly share a couple of our conversational highlights:<\/p>\n 1. For the love of all that is good and decent, do not buy me a giant stuffed teddy bear for Valentine\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s Day. That would just be weird. I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m sure some women would love one, but I would not be one of those women in the commercials we\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve been seeing of late that squeals with delight<\/em> and then cuddles with the bear in the matrimonial bed. Oh, no, no, and more no.<\/p>\n And, if you for some reason drop yourself on your own head and buy the one that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s $100 + another $100 for shipping, handling and processing, you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d better come up with a good sales and marketing package to resell it on eBay and get your $200 back so you can use the money to buy me a few hours of manservant time. If you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re shelling out $200 or more, I want a manservant that paints or resurfaces hardwood, even if you have to resort to mail order to find him.<\/p>\n 2. For the life of me, thankfully, I can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t fathom you doing this, but just so we\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re painfully clear, do not buy the headsie-footsie pajama thing we hear tell of on the TV either. Yes, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m the woman who bought Hello Kitty PJ pants last year<\/a>, but that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s entirely different and something I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll likely never do again anyway. So if you respect my womanhood at all, you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll just walk away. Seriously, I’m one of the coldest people I know who grew up in the North, and I can’t imagine the circumstance that would cause me to wear a hood to bed.<\/p>\n Especially, don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t buy the pink one that looks strikingly similar to the pink bunny costume Ralphie gets from his aunt for Christmas in the movie A Christmas Story<\/em><\/a>. I have no intention of wearing something that would make me look like \u00e2\u20ac\u0153a deranged Easter Bunny\u00e2\u20ac\u009d or \u00e2\u20ac\u0153a pink nightmare.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/a> And since, also by intention, none of my current responsibilities involve acting as Master of Ceremonies for a Noah\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s Ark Reenactment, especially avoid the zebra-print one as well.<\/p>\n Simply put, unlike the lovely ladies on the headsie-footsie-whateversie commercials when they receive their \u00e2\u20ac\u0153gifts,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll be a chasm away from anything resembling enamored.<\/p>\n Update: I wrote this post this morning, while getting ready to leave our old house (where we just spent a long weekend) and drive back to our new one. Then, my son started puking (Yay! Ill-timed puke!), and so this post and most other things were set aside as I dealt with my puking child and got him safely if uncomfortably from point A to point B. Now, here it is nighttime, and as I was just getting ready to post this, on a whim I checked the site with the $100+ bear.<\/p>\n The bear is sold out.<\/p>\n The only viable explanation in my mind, then, is that it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a miracle bear that stops your child\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s puking.<\/p>\n Guess that would be a plausible explanation for the squeals of delight.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I hope everyone has a wonderful Valentine\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s Day tomorrow, whether you have plans to spend your time with someone special or with something special (i.e., chocolate). In a stunningly altruistic move, I told LCB not to bother with gifts for Valentine\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s Day this year. After deep reflection, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve decided the only thing I really need […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[922,923,919,924,105,100,465,918,921,920,925],"class_list":["post-1045","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-islandlife","tag-a-christmas-story-pink-bunny-costume","tag-a-pink-nightmare","tag-bad-valentines-day-gifts","tag-giant-valentines-day-bears","tag-island-life","tag-island-living","tag-island-mom","tag-valentines-day-gifts","tag-valentines-pjs","tag-valentines-teddy-bears","tag-what-i-dont-want-for-valentines-day"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.anislandmom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1045","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.anislandmom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.anislandmom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.anislandmom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.anislandmom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1045"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.anislandmom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1045\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.anislandmom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1045"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.anislandmom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1045"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.anislandmom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1045"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}